~Am I Weird?? ~

For you...Ya..YOU..The one who is reading my current post now...Am I really weird by your sight...Wuahaha, please don't say that I'm nuts for calling myself weirdo..It's just the combination of the observations I've got from most of my friends..

The first experiment...One day, when i was having Pengajian Am period, the teacher gave us a composition exercise(Karangan) which consist of 2 question for us to choose.The first question was about social illness of the youngsters now, and the second was about the usage of museum on developing our country.Well, be honest, if were you to choose, which one will you pick?? I bet most of you guys will gonna pick the first one right..Wuahaha..Not surprising though, coz almost 90% of my classmates pick that question, as they thought they had did endless time about that type of question.But, eventually, I've picked question 2..Well the reason is because i've also did numerous time bout question 1, and really kinda fed up wif dat kind of question.So i choose for something new for me and go for it..Till my friends started to ask me.." Why you choose this question?.Don't you feel it's rather difficult to write than the other?..You're so weird."

Second experiment...Another day, when our class was having Self-study period, what else, of course is hang around blabbering with frenz..We started talk about which subject should picked 1st to study for the exam..Wuahaha..Another choosey situation...Well, most of them said that they will probably study chemistry first with the reason that chemistry is much more tougher..Again I'm different from them for choosing Physics first to study...Then they asked me again.." Why choose physics first leh?(Haha..sorry for adding chinese slang,coz dat's d way we talk)..Chemistry got more things to memorise ma..Physics is just mainly about Formula only..And you can always study it later.." I replied: " I think i understand more about chemistry and lesser bout physic,so I think i will nid more time to digest Physics..So i will go for Physics first.." The same words came out from their mouth.." You're so weird "...

Well...from the above two experiment..I started figuring that am I really a weirdo??..After a long thinking..Firmly, I said..I'm not weird..Just because I did not do things the same ways with others doesn't named me a weirdo..In fact, every single human in this world are born to be different from each other..Even a twins will never gonna be perfectly 100% the same with each other..So I don't have to care bout what others people said about me...I own my own life..And I'm the only one who qualified to determine which way i'll go...I'll just let myself be myself...Nobody can come against me...WUAHAHAHAHA....

~Conflicted~

It's been ages since the last time i update my blog..Well..What to do??? The hectic life now just won't spare me a particular breaktime..I just barely couldn't let myself relax and stop thinking about my studies...Especially after the released of the STPM results for the previous year, I was totally stressed up and horrified when heard that many of those didn't actually do well..Those news really chills me for almost every night, and sometimes even brought imsomnia for me at that very moment..However, if you were to ask me, I would say that, this wasn't something bad at all..It is this news that brought me stress and granted me the energy to work hard on my studies..Haha, really gotta thanks them for bringing me this power to move on...( I mean for those who did not do well in STPM )..Wuahaha, I'm such a devil for saying that..You know i'm joking...

Alright, lets talk about my life recently..Erm, actually nothing special for these few weeks..As I've said, I've been working very hard for these consecutive weeks and everytime is just homework, homework, and homework...Yes, I can't denied that this kind of life weren't interesting at all, and it certainly is not my cup of tea also..However, life's a day now is no more about what we want..It's about what we must...Especially when people nowaday are all highly competitive among each other...Each of anyone of them holds either a Ph.D or at least a master to work in this community..Wow...That was totally unbelievable...So, what we can do is just keep ourself upgraded and keep catching on their pace..If you're one step slow down, you'll be eliminated...Sigh...Sometimes, i would wonder, why are people nowadays making their life so difficult?? You work diligently everyday and what does that gonna bring for you...In fact, there are some workaholic out there did actually paid up their health for consuming so much time in working life..Besides, news about people who commit suicide due to extreme life-stress are actually quite common now..So, why are we still being so stubborn with that??? Haha, talk was easy, doing would be the catch...This is still the reality, and somehow, we all have to accept it..And I....Who have been grumbling so much about lifes now, still have to finish my homework today.....Oh My God, what have I studied just now??...Methy-tetraphenylchloride....ARGHHHHHHHHHH....

(To be continued....)

~Expecting Miracle??~

Sigh....looks like, what I've promised myself didn't really put in my mind...Remember from some previous post, I denoted that I'm gonna stop fooling around, and start fighting for an excellence results for my exam..However, since today when i got back my Maths T exam paper, I really really feel like bursting into tears...Yes, your're right...Another RED again...It is so dissapointed to have this kind of sucks result, whenever I tought that I'm not going to fail for that...Maybe anything in this tiny world shouldn't be filled with " I thought", this phrase...What do you mean by you thought??...Did you think that you thought you're going to be Prime Minister in the future, then you're gonna 100% got that in the future..Times become harder especially when many of my friends got passed and most of them got at least 50% for their marks in that exam...How bout me??You've got a RED!!!...Even the one that always sleeps inside the class, and didn't listen to teachers lesson also got higher marks than me...The one that "I've thought", again that will never gonna make it, oso got higher marks than me...I'm actually not here to insults him or teasing him or what..In fact, he might looks lazy in the class, but at home, maybe he did work very very hard for that exam..But me...What've I been doing that time..Onlining, sleeping, watching TV, and just enjoying my life..Right...Since you've not been working hard for that, how can you expect a miracle is going to happen to you??...And this is all my fault..God doesn't helps a person who is lazy to be successful..Now, I'm really wondering that, am I still suitable for form 6 anymore...From many of my old secondary school friends, they might tought that, I'm a genius or very good in studying..But, since I've stepped into form 6, I can deeply understand that how stupid and idiot I am comparing with my classmates..Mostly are like choppy, GK, they all...No matter how hard i struggle for a good results, I still cant beat them...That's why I'm saying that, I'm actually nothing compared with them..I'm nothing....Nothing means to me anymore..

~Friends Are To Be, Or Not To Be???~

Sigh....I don't know how to start my words now..I've been sitting here typing for quite a long time, but I've deleted what i've typed just now too....Because, it's really not describing my feeling now and it's just not the things that I wanted to say here..Am I regreting for using blog to write about my life..Or, I should say that: I've really regretted for giving my blog address to others..Haha, sorry for those who are reading now..I do not mean to hurt or insult you all..But this is actually to prevent things like above happens when I write my blog...Since it's about my real feeling now, I decided to be honest with myself..Actually, I really not quite happy with somethings today. Although it's hard to say, but I really have to tell that someones really dissapoint me today..They really dissapointed me deep deep into my heart. And, that feeling is just too pain like thousand of thorns keep piercing in my heart..They gave me the feeling that, I'm actually a nobody to them..I'm just like a toy to them..When they need me, they come play with me. When did not, they just kick me aside..It feels like, i've been used by them..Between us, no friendship, caring, or even loves exist on our relationship..I should had understand that, there is no friendship forever in entire life, but there are friends to be used no matter where we go...This makes me started to think that, "what are friends??",...Why do we all here are so curious or crazy with friends??...I cannot deny that most of my friends out there actually gave happiness to me..But...The one that gave me a hardest time in my life are them too...We might easily forgot the happiness we once had in our life, but the sadest thing we once had is going to be the bittest memory in our entire life..And it's going to be with us forever just like a scar in our body, that influence our whole life...What i'm hoping is just having a friends that can share things with each other and we can actually talk to each other well...Am I too over with my opinion here..Maybe it's just too hard for two people without any biological relationship to be so close to each other..Each of them would certainly have a gap between their friends on things that can be share with each other...So close, yet so far...So, I really very dissapointed with them...Maybe I shouldn't had put my hope on them earlier, as I knew that somehow, we all still are people from two different world.......

~Time To Start And Time To Stop~

At last, school day had started now and I've upgraded myself into an upper 6 students. Sigh..., time had gone so fast that i couldn't even accept that I'm already 20 years-old now (following chinese calendar)..In fact, many memories when I was still in lower 6 are still fresh in my mind..Everything seems like just happened yesterday..Though missing those had gone, but we, as a human being should somehow accept the reality and keep on moving towards our future. I remembered that, i've read 1 book and there is a line inside it stated:

'Those who keep on look back into their past are a weaker, but those who keep on fight towards their future are as strong as a warrior'

At first, i couldn't really understand that particular sentence, and i felt that the one who wrote this was an idiot..But now, I deeply understand that statement..And that's why i feel that I'm weak..By the way, didn't human being learn to be strong from their past..Hmmph..Really makes me figure..Alright, forget about that..Let's talk something bout my new school lifez..Frankly, I'm actually quite sad as I heard that 2 of my friends had left our school..One of it is Nicholas, the one that brings endless laughter to our class. Although I'm not very close with him in my class, but he really is the nicest person I've met. He was the one that gave me the feeling that, Kwang Hua students is not as selfish as I thought. In fact, he loves to help us, and he is also a joker..However, he only finished his lower 6 here, then changed to Inti Colledge for an American Transfered Degree..The other 1 that left is Wilson..Erm.....have nothing to talk bout him, coz I've already knew that he's gonna left soon..Anyway, just wish him good luck at TAR colledge lar..Then I'll have to continue my form 6 journey here...This is gonna be my last year for school lifez and also my last chance to improve my result...I've promise myself, not to failed in any of my subject again this year..Never Again (Hope So)...U can do it....Keep holding on(listening to that song now).....Haha....Looks like, it's time for me to start my hardwork and effort now, and also time for me to stop my 'Honey Moon' day....