~Moody~

Very moody today..But i don't know why...Nothings bad happens to me today, but the feeling of sadness and loneliness just sneak into my heart..At this particular moment, i suddenly remembered a song from Spice Girls named Goodbye..( forget about whether u think that is too outdated..It's the feeling and meaning of the song that counts..)..Don't wanna talk too much..Suddenly feel so tired...Suddenly feel like wanna say goodbye to everyone and the world..



No no no no
No no no no
No no no no

Listen little child, there will come a day
When you will be able, able to say
Never mind the pain, or the aggravation
You know there's a better way, for you and me to be

Look for a rainbow in every storm
Fly like an angel, heaven sent to me

[chorus:]
Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone, but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(Gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no no

No no no no

Just a little girl, big imagination
Never letting no one take it away
Went into the world (Into the world), what a revelation
She found there's a better way for you and me to be

Look for a rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain, love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

[chorus:]
Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone, but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(Gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no no

No no no no
(You know it's time to say goodbye)
No no no no

The times when we would play about
The way we used to scream and shout
We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way

Look for a rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

[chorus:]
Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone, but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(Gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never, never, ever change it

(No no no no)
You know it's time to say goodbye
(No no no no)
And don't forget you can rely

(No no no no)
You know it's time to say goodbye
And don't forget on me you can rely

(No no no no)
I will help, help you on your way
I will be with you every day
(No no no no)... [fade out]

~Damn Him~

Damn stupid fellow..Bloody idiot, who don't even have a little tiny pig brain in his head..Really so angry today with that kind of brainless and stupid fucker man like him...Sorry for all those rude words, but i just can't control myself now..From the first time i know him, he actually already gave me a very bad impression with all his idiot thoughts and acting..But, i just try to calm myself down and just pretend nothings happen with all his brainless act...However, since today, i really can't stand him anymore for offending me..The story start like this...When i was doing my maths homework at school during free period today, that idiot just keep on come to my place and started playing with my another friend which is sitting next to me..They were actually started tickling each other like monkey and acting foolishly(Just like an idiot)..Try think, for a people sitting beside you but you just keep on playing around with others, don't you feel this will gonna irritates the one who is doing his homework quietly??...Things get even worse especially the one who irritates you are the one who you hate the most..Right..Just like before, i just pretend like nothing happens and keep on working on my homework..As i just wanted to lift my hand and take my calculator for calculation solving, again, that idiot just took away MY calculator without my permission or even just a single "for a while plz" which i thought is a simple human manners everyone should have..But he just took it assive it belongs to him.What do i do??...I just kept staring at him with my so called EVIL eyesight, but obviously, he didn't notice that I was doing that..Right..Here comes the climax for my anger..After using my calculator, he then just throw MY calculator at my table and in front of me without saying thank you or even sorry for doing this...Hello...What animal brain does this idiot own??..Which planet is him from??...An animal like him which don't even have a little manners or IQ towards others shouldn't be living in the world..Really don't understand why this kind of idiot could still have friends,(Ps: he actually don't have many also) and which type of people can stand his attitude and be friend with him..Since this, i think i will pay no more respect and definitely no more compromise with him anymore..The next time he did something offending me again, I will burst into fire and start blasting him "KAO KAO"...We'll watch and see...STUPID Y.B.M...

~Am I Weird?? ~

For you...Ya..YOU..The one who is reading my current post now...Am I really weird by your sight...Wuahaha, please don't say that I'm nuts for calling myself weirdo..It's just the combination of the observations I've got from most of my friends..

The first experiment...One day, when i was having Pengajian Am period, the teacher gave us a composition exercise(Karangan) which consist of 2 question for us to choose.The first question was about social illness of the youngsters now, and the second was about the usage of museum on developing our country.Well, be honest, if were you to choose, which one will you pick?? I bet most of you guys will gonna pick the first one right..Wuahaha..Not surprising though, coz almost 90% of my classmates pick that question, as they thought they had did endless time about that type of question.But, eventually, I've picked question 2..Well the reason is because i've also did numerous time bout question 1, and really kinda fed up wif dat kind of question.So i choose for something new for me and go for it..Till my friends started to ask me.." Why you choose this question?.Don't you feel it's rather difficult to write than the other?..You're so weird."

Second experiment...Another day, when our class was having Self-study period, what else, of course is hang around blabbering with frenz..We started talk about which subject should picked 1st to study for the exam..Wuahaha..Another choosey situation...Well, most of them said that they will probably study chemistry first with the reason that chemistry is much more tougher..Again I'm different from them for choosing Physics first to study...Then they asked me again.." Why choose physics first leh?(Haha..sorry for adding chinese slang,coz dat's d way we talk)..Chemistry got more things to memorise ma..Physics is just mainly about Formula only..And you can always study it later.." I replied: " I think i understand more about chemistry and lesser bout physic,so I think i will nid more time to digest Physics..So i will go for Physics first.." The same words came out from their mouth.." You're so weird "...

Well...from the above two experiment..I started figuring that am I really a weirdo??..After a long thinking..Firmly, I said..I'm not weird..Just because I did not do things the same ways with others doesn't named me a weirdo..In fact, every single human in this world are born to be different from each other..Even a twins will never gonna be perfectly 100% the same with each other..So I don't have to care bout what others people said about me...I own my own life..And I'm the only one who qualified to determine which way i'll go...I'll just let myself be myself...Nobody can come against me...WUAHAHAHAHA....

~Conflicted~

It's been ages since the last time i update my blog..Well..What to do??? The hectic life now just won't spare me a particular breaktime..I just barely couldn't let myself relax and stop thinking about my studies...Especially after the released of the STPM results for the previous year, I was totally stressed up and horrified when heard that many of those didn't actually do well..Those news really chills me for almost every night, and sometimes even brought imsomnia for me at that very moment..However, if you were to ask me, I would say that, this wasn't something bad at all..It is this news that brought me stress and granted me the energy to work hard on my studies..Haha, really gotta thanks them for bringing me this power to move on...( I mean for those who did not do well in STPM )..Wuahaha, I'm such a devil for saying that..You know i'm joking...

Alright, lets talk about my life recently..Erm, actually nothing special for these few weeks..As I've said, I've been working very hard for these consecutive weeks and everytime is just homework, homework, and homework...Yes, I can't denied that this kind of life weren't interesting at all, and it certainly is not my cup of tea also..However, life's a day now is no more about what we want..It's about what we must...Especially when people nowaday are all highly competitive among each other...Each of anyone of them holds either a Ph.D or at least a master to work in this community..Wow...That was totally unbelievable...So, what we can do is just keep ourself upgraded and keep catching on their pace..If you're one step slow down, you'll be eliminated...Sigh...Sometimes, i would wonder, why are people nowadays making their life so difficult?? You work diligently everyday and what does that gonna bring for you...In fact, there are some workaholic out there did actually paid up their health for consuming so much time in working life..Besides, news about people who commit suicide due to extreme life-stress are actually quite common now..So, why are we still being so stubborn with that??? Haha, talk was easy, doing would be the catch...This is still the reality, and somehow, we all have to accept it..And I....Who have been grumbling so much about lifes now, still have to finish my homework today.....Oh My God, what have I studied just now??...Methy-tetraphenylchloride....ARGHHHHHHHHHH....

(To be continued....)

~Expecting Miracle??~

Sigh....looks like, what I've promised myself didn't really put in my mind...Remember from some previous post, I denoted that I'm gonna stop fooling around, and start fighting for an excellence results for my exam..However, since today when i got back my Maths T exam paper, I really really feel like bursting into tears...Yes, your're right...Another RED again...It is so dissapointed to have this kind of sucks result, whenever I tought that I'm not going to fail for that...Maybe anything in this tiny world shouldn't be filled with " I thought", this phrase...What do you mean by you thought??...Did you think that you thought you're going to be Prime Minister in the future, then you're gonna 100% got that in the future..Times become harder especially when many of my friends got passed and most of them got at least 50% for their marks in that exam...How bout me??You've got a RED!!!...Even the one that always sleeps inside the class, and didn't listen to teachers lesson also got higher marks than me...The one that "I've thought", again that will never gonna make it, oso got higher marks than me...I'm actually not here to insults him or teasing him or what..In fact, he might looks lazy in the class, but at home, maybe he did work very very hard for that exam..But me...What've I been doing that time..Onlining, sleeping, watching TV, and just enjoying my life..Right...Since you've not been working hard for that, how can you expect a miracle is going to happen to you??...And this is all my fault..God doesn't helps a person who is lazy to be successful..Now, I'm really wondering that, am I still suitable for form 6 anymore...From many of my old secondary school friends, they might tought that, I'm a genius or very good in studying..But, since I've stepped into form 6, I can deeply understand that how stupid and idiot I am comparing with my classmates..Mostly are like choppy, GK, they all...No matter how hard i struggle for a good results, I still cant beat them...That's why I'm saying that, I'm actually nothing compared with them..I'm nothing....Nothing means to me anymore..