~Speechless Dinner~

Today, i went out have dinner with my parent..Juz like before, a strange feeling appear in my heart..An undescribable feeling that i wouldn't want to have it at that very little moment..But, this feeling would always here whenever there is an occasion like this..Sometimes, i would wonder, why could a family dinner could have become these 'cold'..It feels more like having dinner with some strangers, instead of with my parent..Yes, it's MY PARENT..Hard to believe isn't it?? I think that would be the main reason, why kidz now loves to hang out more with their frenz, instead of with their parent..They choose to have dinner with frenz, but not with their parent..This might probably bcoz, they feel more joyful or more happy to be with frenz instead of being with parent which they felt, it's damn boring..Do u think like that too?? The reason we all felt happy when hanging around with frenz is bcoz, we actually get to choose who we loves to be with..For example, if we feel uncomfortable or boring when we are with Mr.A, we can refuse to go out with him..But if we feel happy, comfortable,or crazy with Mr.B, we continue to be with him..So, we all actually are able to choose frenz that we loves to be with..What if we talk about our parent?? Do we stand a chance to choose our parent?? Can u say " I hate my parent now, i want a new want !!". Or, can u refuse to be with them forever??..It's impossible...Once our parent, always will be our parent..I blame myself to have that feeling at that time..I blame myself for not appreciating the time they've spent on me..I've also blame myself for not loving them as deep as they loves me...I just hope that, god could gives me a longer times, to pay what i've owed them..Back to the dinner just now, though understand all the above 'theory', at the end of the dinner, we still end up speechless..