~Friends Are To Be, Or Not To Be???~

Sigh....I don't know how to start my words now..I've been sitting here typing for quite a long time, but I've deleted what i've typed just now too....Because, it's really not describing my feeling now and it's just not the things that I wanted to say here..Am I regreting for using blog to write about my life..Or, I should say that: I've really regretted for giving my blog address to others..Haha, sorry for those who are reading now..I do not mean to hurt or insult you all..But this is actually to prevent things like above happens when I write my blog...Since it's about my real feeling now, I decided to be honest with myself..Actually, I really not quite happy with somethings today. Although it's hard to say, but I really have to tell that someones really dissapoint me today..They really dissapointed me deep deep into my heart. And, that feeling is just too pain like thousand of thorns keep piercing in my heart..They gave me the feeling that, I'm actually a nobody to them..I'm just like a toy to them..When they need me, they come play with me. When did not, they just kick me aside..It feels like, i've been used by them..Between us, no friendship, caring, or even loves exist on our relationship..I should had understand that, there is no friendship forever in entire life, but there are friends to be used no matter where we go...This makes me started to think that, "what are friends??",...Why do we all here are so curious or crazy with friends??...I cannot deny that most of my friends out there actually gave happiness to me..But...The one that gave me a hardest time in my life are them too...We might easily forgot the happiness we once had in our life, but the sadest thing we once had is going to be the bittest memory in our entire life..And it's going to be with us forever just like a scar in our body, that influence our whole life...What i'm hoping is just having a friends that can share things with each other and we can actually talk to each other well...Am I too over with my opinion here..Maybe it's just too hard for two people without any biological relationship to be so close to each other..Each of them would certainly have a gap between their friends on things that can be share with each other...So close, yet so far...So, I really very dissapointed with them...Maybe I shouldn't had put my hope on them earlier, as I knew that somehow, we all still are people from two different world.......